eternal

i have so much broken.
i am twisted up and don't love right.
i am spiteful and prideful and listless, always searching for less wild lovers as if they will fill me.
but God is so much bigger than this, than my failings, and he is Yahweh, which literally means i was what i was, i am what i am, i will be what i will be.
the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob calls me His.
i am learning that that does not make things easier- we are the new Israel which literally means, wrestles with God.
this life feels like wrestling with God a lot of the time, but His promises are rich and eternal.
He will be who He will be.
and i know He is good.