overwhelm me

at d-group last night we were talking about how we feel God here vs at home and we told story after story of God getting lost in the shuffle and i realized that i don't want to live like that. we said,
"He just gets buried under my life and homework and all the stuff i have to do" again and again and i don't want that to be my story any more.
i want the kind of intimacy with God that permeates everything that i am doing. i want to know him so well that i finish his sentences.
i don't want the separation or compartmentalization of my life. i don't want to say to God, "you have this time, and i'll take everything else"
i want to love him in a way that consumes me. i want his presence to become the backdrop for my life.
i want it to be deeper, it to go further, and it to be so full that all of me is focused and in tune with him and his love and purpose for this world.
and not that any of this is easy- getting to that place will be painful and take enormous amounts of discipline.
but i can't go back now. now that i've seen his goodness.
this needs to be everything.